Creature Comforts

This print is fantastic. The tree trunks and blue petals...oooo (via Creature Comforts)

Procrastination Starts with a P.

I am a procrastinator...it is what I am and how I do. As the Terminator says, "I'll be back", that is what I am constantly telling my papers, readings and life in general. This may sound depressing - and I agree...that is why I am turning over a new leaf. To do lists are my new best friend. I can use pretty paper, eye-popping ink, and intriguing internet resources that I would never have been able to find on my own. blyberg.net is a librarian from Darien, CT (CT pride - yahoo!) who has developed this ingenious card catalog generator. Check out my list for tomorrow:

Employment 101

I've been putting it off for four years but the time has finally come to go to the CDO. Walking out, I still felt confused and intimidated but with a goal...find work, get paid, buy clothes and shoes, meet man, get married, have children, drink martinis, get face lift, die happy.
Here are some possible job options:

1. Odor Tester - This one is pretty odd, but some chemist has to make sure that all of those deodorants and anti-perspirants are operating properly to keep their users free of funk

2. Crocodile Wrangler - Many of us are privy to this unusual occupation due to the late, great Steve Irwin, but no matter how accustomed we become to handling animals it will always be a little out there. A nice mix of danger and excitement for what many would consider low pay.

3. Fortune Cookie Writer - Yes, we've all wondered who the heck writes those fortunes in English! Finishing a take-out Chinese meal isn't only full of MSG, but those delightfully witty pieces of advice that people are so quick to heed.

4. IMAX Screen Cleaner - If you've ever seen an IMAX screen, these things are huge! But someone has to make sure that bad boy is crystal clear so we can travel through the Grand Canyon or explore the human body via a gigantic screen in a circular room.

5. Snake Milker - If you ever get bitten by a poisonous snake you'll be grateful these people know how to work with animals. They are responsible for getting the venom out of snakes to make the anti-venom. Be honest, which one of you thought that snakes had actual milk glands?

6. Cow Hoof Trimmer - Just like horseshoes, cows need some hoof maintenance too. These fine animals can have poor milk production, lameness, and decreased fertility if not properly groomed. Try to imagine giving a cow a pedicure.

7. Chicken Sexer - Going through baby chicks and separating them according to sex. I hear this job is pretty easy, if you just play bad 80's music and set things up like a 5th grade dance, they separate themselves.

8. Adult Store Attendant - One of the more harder-to-stomach professions, unless you're a pervert. Sooner or later we have to get into some nasty jobs. In this case the adult store worker not only takes care of the store, but has to clean up the booths where clientele "test" the pornographic merchandise. Probably a good candidate for The Discovery Channel's popular program, and one heck of a way to apply that human services degree.

9. Dog Food Tester - Watch out guys, this gal is going to have some great breath in store for you. Just like any other meals, dog food needs to be inspected too. I suppose they can't use dogs to test the food so this profession requires a taste testing of such a delicious cuisine.

10. Forest Fire Lookout - If you happen to be an extreme hermit who has very little time to do important things, there might be a national park out there that will pay you (a very low wage) to sit in a tower and make sure none of those pesky landscape altering fires occur.

11. Carney - Some people make their living as a full time carney. The pay is decent, the scenery changes, and you get take advantage of young people by enticing them with stuffed animals in games that are impossible to win.

I know that there is a job out there for everyone - even me!
For more opportunities go to http://www.jobprofiles.org/library/guidance/weird-jobs.htm